Tuesday, September 11, 2007

DAD, DEAR DAD

By my little finger you led me,
promising always to be near.
Just the knowledge of your presence
removes my every fear.

You guided my every step
shared a secret smile
Carried me as a treasure
deep inside your heart - all this while.

Manier times I misunderstood you
Got angry about your interference
And never once did I understand
the reason behind your perserverance

Always providing for my every need
You were my Hero, supportive & strong
For me as a child,
any decision of yours could never be wrong.

As I grew older, I pretended to be wise
But you would be on a constant watch
with your eagle eyes,
but nonetheless trusting me all the while

Today you are old, frail & weak
But Dad, dear Dad - you pretend
to put up a brave front
and if I need a helping hand, yours you will happily lend.

And even today, if I cross the road with you
You will still pick up my little finger
And hold it tightly within your firm grip,
...your careful hands
.......lest, your little angel is lost from you.

I have written this poem for my Dad. I have never tried writing anything like this, but my Dad is unwell & quite frail, & as I sat alone in my home day before yesterday, my feelings just poured out of my heart onto the keyboard. He has loved me through and through, in between all my mistakes, and all the hurts I would have caused him. He waits in anticipation day after day to see a glimpse of his "doll", his "little angel", but my life keeps me more than preoccupied, refraining me from spending as much time as I would like to, at this stage in his life.

He cuts out newspaper articles which he feels will be relevant to me, just in case I didnt see them myself. He would save something mom would have cooked with the desire to secretly hand it over to me, when I meet him. He would wait at the staircase, waiting for me to park the car & greet me with a big hug & a kiss. He would put each & every edible item in the house spread in front of me on the table, only to be given irritated looks of ...."Dad, please I dont want all this". One sneeze of mine will make him fret, a slight fever will make him cry. To see a tear in my eye will break his heart into a thousand peices.

The thought of loosing him is too much to bear. Even saying the words make me dread, how it would be.........& I never ever want to face it.
I love you Dad, & really wish and pray that you remain hale & hearty and I get to see you for a very, very long time

8 comments:

Padmaja said...

Don't worry at all!! hope things are fine by now!!!
I know my heart goes out for you

Shella said...

Yes, things have been like this for a long time now. He is quite normal with his day to day work, .....but his heart is so weak that it scares me.

Thank you for your concern

rv said...

hi shella:) you have a cute lovely blog:) I loved ur writing and the recipes, and I too pray ur dad lives healthier and longer:), dont worry, he will get well soon:) ...take care dear:) and keep blogging :)

sra said...

Shella, praying that your dad and you have each other for a long time to come, take care!

Seena said...

Shella, you poured out my thoughts too,my prayers for your happiness, good friend..

Cynthia said...

Oh, dear, dear, dear Shella. Be strong and keep praying. My thoughts and prayers are with you - you'll get through this and so will you dad.

Shella said...

Rv - thanks dear for liking my blog. And also for the good wishes for my Dad.

Sra - Yeah me too hoping that he's around to see my children & my grandchildren too. I know that's being too greedy, but nothing lost in hoping. Right??

Seena - thank you Seena. We dont realize the worth of our parents till we are far away from them. I am blessed to be living quite close to mine, but am not able to give them too much time.

Cynthia - Prayers are my only hope. Only Jesus can take care of my Dad.

I am touched by all of your concern & affection. Thank you once again.

Anonymous said...

its so beautiful and so true
Bhavna Chawla